Week 2 - Day 2

Leave work tonight at 16.26, having studiously studied the timetable and realise that there will be a bus at 16.34, hence no huffing and puffing down the not-your-usual-length driveway after work, I figured I'd left myself plenty of time to reach the bus stop across the busy road, with minimal lolloping and grapevining and flapping arms on my part.

I say huffing and puffing, because at around 11am this morning I was well and truly buggered by the parcel delivery lady, who had delivered my Joe Browns order to me at work instead of my home.

'Oh, thanks, yes, that's really kind of you, thank you' I gushed through gritted teeth as I took the 'could have been a lot lighter' parcel from her.  You see, I also have this 'nudge nudge wink wink' arrangement with the parcel delivery lady as well as the postman, whom you may recall buggered me last week with 3 big fat ones.

This 'NNWW' arrangement usually suits me well, as it saves them not finding me at home and all that redelivery card through the letterbox nonsense....so I daren't say anything in case these tenuous (and quite possibly not available to anybody else) arrangements are jeopardised.

As you know, I was brought up not to mess people around or inconvenience them.

The bus arrived, 3 minutes late, and from previous experience I had exactly £2.10 in my little hand.  I requested a return to the local town, and placed my £2.10 very clearly in the receptacle for the driver to see.  He pressed a few buttons.  £2.60? He ventured.  I stood my ground, and nodded towards the £2.10 as if to say 'that's my final offer matey, and not a penny more.'  The driver pressed a few more buttons and arrived at £2.10 himself, and I proudly took my ticket.
Yesssss! Passenger 1, Driver 0.  That's NIL to you, robbing bus company ;)

I checked Sidney the Snail's Vertilap for signs of a return, but it was barren.  I also checked No.75 (which I omitted to do on the return journey yesterday, please forgive me) and.......all their front-facing curtains are still closed!  What do you make of that?  Either relatives are dropping like flies, or they are truly a Vampire Family.  Next time I'm passing, remind me to chuck a garlic bulb in their front garden, see how they react to that.

This evening's tasks were to post the work mail that didn't get posted last night, plus pay my Council Tax, which I enjoy leaving until the last possible minute so that I can hold onto the cash until the very last second.  Then a quick walk up the street, and I dipped into the chemist as my boss wanted me to get her something.....they didn't have it, but whilst I was standing at the counter as the assistant checked, the lady standing right next to me purchased the largest bottle of nit shampoo they had.  Now then, I am usually quite subtle, but apparently not so subtle today as I took the hugest step away from her......and.....yes, you guessed it.....she clocked me doing so.
'It's not for me', she proclaimed.
Yes, well, that's what everyone says in the chemist when they're buying something embarrassing, (or so I've been told.)
I wasn't taking any chances, smiled apologetically at the woman and legged it as fast as I could out of the chemists.  Before the nits got me.  I've got enough problems without bloody nits.

En route to the bus stop is a local store, which does indeed happen to sell wine.  It would have been very rude of me to pass by and not call in and purchase some. I did, however, resist buying garlic bread or chips to go with tonight's lasagne.

Arriving at the bus stop, I checked the time on my mobile - 17.01.  I checked the next bus time on the punched-in timetable at the bus stop - 17.16.  Just the 15 minute wait then.  I'd missed a bus by 6 mins.

A man came to the bus stop shortly after me, smartly dressed and with a black rucksack he kept taking on and off his shoulder which I was intrigued to know what was contained within.  He had one of those moustaches which you instantly think look false.  Anyway, he stood a decent distance from me and didn't try and speak or anything so I leant against the bus shelter and tried to ignore the amount of cars with 3 spare seats in them that zoomed past nonchalantly.  Especially ignoring the open-top cars, and definitely not hoping the bald men got sunburn on their solar panels.

The bus, when it arrived, a whole 2 minutes late, was quite full.  Well, this didn't surprise me, as there are seemingly more buses into the local small town than out.  As in half the number back out.  I resisted the urge to sing 'Hotel California' to myself, and changing the words to 'you can go into town any time you like, but you can never leave....' as I would hate to ruin one of my favourite songs.

Busy bus, nobody of any great note to relay to you, maybe except for one guy dressed sportily, who had huge sunglasses on top of his head, trying to hide his expanding solar panel forehead, which didn't have me fooled for a minute.

Now last week, in my excitement, I omitted to mention the house the bus passed with the deep pink Austrian blinds in the front windows, that made me gag slightly.  Don't get me wrong - in the 80's I thought they were the bees knees....indeed I had them myself....but in 2013?  I spotted them this evening on my journey, but not before I spotted the house just before it, who's deluded and quite obviously colour blind owners have painted their fence and their front door the most incredibly obnoxious and bile-inducing shade of purple you could never imagine.  I gagged, right there on the bus, I really did.  I thought for a moment the Joe Browns parcel was going to have company in that carrier bag. Nobody should have to unwittingly see that view.  Give me the bandy-legged lady in shorts from last week who couldn't stop a pig in a poke any day.  That shade of purple should be illegal. 'Makes mental note to look the other way when passing these particular 2 houses'.

Finally, in other news, I have this evening emailed Nissan UK to say how very inconvenient it is for me to have to wait for a part to make my car safe to drive for a whole month.  I'm hoping at the very least they will reimburse the therapist fees.