Just one more bus journey to go! (I hope!)

Hurrah!  I got a call from the local garage owner at 17.50 to say that my car was ready.  I didn't even attempt to disguise my utter disbelief, which made him laugh.  I've arranged to collect the old girl in the morning (alarm is set - I will happily forego my Friday morning lie-in to get my car back!), so hopefully just one more bus journey for me, and then I can ceremoniously burn the timetable!

Anyway, I have lots to report about this evening's bus lane escapades......

I locked up and left work today at around 4.35pm, after a (hopefully) forgetful day, and strolled down the longer-than-average drive to the bus stop.

I knew I had about 10 minutes to wait for the next bus, due at 4.47pm.  Standing at the bus stop, I studiously ignored all the smug car drivers passing me, and thought happy thoughts about Sidney the snail and his new lady-snail Cynthia.

This is the bus stop near the bee-hedge, and a couple of juvenile bees trying to show off dive-bombed me, and I could almost hear their little bee laughter at scaring me.

Then came the most astonishing sight.  This guy approached on a motorbike, and he slowed right down near me as he was turning the corner just past the bus stop.  Now then, just imagine a man who was in the process of turning into a ginger cat, and that's what he looked like.  Ginger facial hair / whiskers as far as the eye could see.  I swear he was half-man, half-ginger-tom.

The bus was late.  I stood there, mobile in hand to check the time every 4 seconds.  It deigned to trundle up 7 minutes late, at 4.54pm.  Unless, of course, this bus was the next one, due at 4.59pm, and therefore technically 3 minutes early.  I just love the way Stagecoach blend their buses into each other so seamlessly.  I also guess they put up their timetables just to give people something to read whilst they are waiting.  And waiting.  And waiting.  They are, after all, just a bunch of meaningless numbers on those displays and bear absolutely no resemblance to actual times. Good ploy!

I got a return ticket to the local town, which I now know without a smidgeon of doubt costs £2.60.  And not £3.10 nor £2.10.  Oh, yes....I've learnt my lesson there over the last 4 weeks.

I take a seat, and a man in his earlyish 20's gets on at the next stop and sits on one of those sideways seats near the front.  About ten minutes into the journey, a youth from near the back of the bus suddenly calls out 'Lee!  Lee!' to this sideways guy, who looks up and yells back 'My name's Ryan,' before looking down at his fingernails again, and commencing cleaning them with his bus pass card.
Okkkk, I thought.....obviously some nutter at the back then.

The bus drives past a group of 3 women walking a Rottweiler, and to be frank I did play a little game of 'Spot the Canine' between the four of them.  Cruel, I know, but one has to try and amuse oneself when suffering life in the bus lane!

I disembark at my stop, and notice a man wearing a beanie hat (in this heat? Really?) lounging against the wall on the other side of the road, drinking from a can of Pils, and the 3 cans lined up on the wall beside him, presumably empty.  Adopting a look of nonchalance, I attempt to cross the busy one-way street.  And for a one-way street, it is extremely busy, with cars coming from 3 directions.  Four times I figured it was safe to step off the pavement into the road, only to see a car coming and stepping back.  In the end, my 5th attempt of almost doing a solo version of the Hokey Cokey (you put your right foot out, your right foot in....) I made it across and actually had a giggle with the Pils guy, (who I'd initially presumed was an axe-murderer, which shows that appearances can be deceptive) waiting for his next victim.

I reach the bus stop for the homeward journey, and have just a 10 minute wait, which passes by smoothly.  A lady joins me at the bus stop about a minute before it arrives, and distils her cheap plastic carrier bag containing 8 cans of Carling into a more sturdy, cloth shopping bag.  I envy her for being more lucky than me with the timing of the buses and we discuss this briefly before boarding the bus.

I take a seat directly behind a shirtless guy with a tattooed back, which I had thought I could read along the journey as a bit of free entertainment.  Presently, this guy rang the bell and walked up to the front of the bus, upon which a raucous cry of 'See ya, sexy!' came from further back on the bus. (Note: the nutters sit near the back of the bus ;))  Mr Tattoo turned round and the woman yelled 'we love your tattoo's.  Hope she's got yer dinner ready.'  Mr Tattoo looked unimpressed and leapt off the bus carrying his 12-pack of cans of Stella.

I hadn't dared turn around, but I heard a man's voice say 'will you shut up' to said gobby woman.

Undeterred, I managed to avoid looking to the right hence the nauseating sight of the deep pink Austrian blinds and the shouldn't-be-legal-purple paintwork of the house next door.

At my stop, there was a vehicle parked right behind the bus stop.  I said thank you to driver, as I always do, but no!  He didn't open the doors, but waited for the traffic and then pulled in in front of the parked vehicle which meant that I had to walk a whole bus-length further than usual!

Grrrr!